December 30, 2014 / Personal
I read something on The Silver Pen about doing something every day that scares you. This blog post for me is kind of scary, because I feel like it will expose a part of me that is not very desirable. But, why not get a head start on my 2015 resolutions! So, here goes.
I hate feeling defeated. Sometimes, when someone rejects me, I let myself get so, so down. I feel sick to my stomach and I cry into my cats fur until I freak them out and they run away. I just don’t understand what went wrong. Why didn’t they like me? Did I say something wrong? I know my work is good.
Then I realize that it’s not me. It’s just the industry that I am in is so competitive and over-saturated and I need to work harder to make my work really stand out. Because this is my passion. Photography has been with me my whole life. It gives me such a rush to create beautiful images and capture all of those special moments. It’s what I have to do. I don’t have a choice.
So then I get angry and I want to punch Defeat in the face! I conjure up some of my feistiness from my 20’s and I say, “I’m not going to let you make me feel like *#@!, Defeat! I’m just going to work harder and improve my skills! I am so tired of you Defeat! The next time you ring my number, guess what? I’m not going to answer! That’s right! So take that you big, ole meany! We are so beyond through! You might as well be on another planet! No, another galaxy!”
Somebody queue that Kelly Clarkson song please! “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…”